Wednesday, 31 October 2012

You are not special! You also canNOT be anything you want to be!

If the headline offends you or you "totally" disagree with it, congratulations! You are very likely a fine example of why this post is necessary. You probably grew up in a household that showered you with confidence boosting praise ("Good job, princess! You cleaned up your own room for your 21st birthday party, mommy is so proud of you, angel!"), went to a school that was covered in posters proclaiming that "every child is a star" and "you are the future". Well, chances are they were wrong. If "special" and "star" mean someone who stands out, is better than the rest, then by definition not everyone can be one. Look around you, are you truly the one glowing monolith of success in your community, far beyond the reaches of your peers? If not then you are not special, maybe unique, but not a special star.
Why, you ask, the need to point this out, destroy people's carefully erected self-esteem? The answer is quite simple and has to do with the modern mantra of "you have to love yourself before you can love someone else". This often recited piece of feel-good propaganda is wrong. A person who is fond of him- or herself is more likely to disregard the needs of others, to put their own wants first and to act selfish and harmful. You do not believe this? Dozens of peer-reviewed studies say so. Unless you are a research psychologist I am afraid your "opinion" or "feelings" on this are irrelevant in the face of reliable scientific results. Ask yourself: if self-love really made us better people, would not narcissists be the kindest, nicest human beings?
We are currently in a position to observe the fruits of half a century of systematically inflated self-worth in our society: rampant obesity, sky high divorce rates, record levels of personal bankruptcy etc... Most of these are not exclusively, but to a significant degree, caused by people's sense of entitlement and lack of discipline.
No matter what advertisements tell you, you are NOT worth it ("it"being expensive makeup, a car or luxury vacation) unless you can pay for it, cash and upfront that is. If you were not born to royal parents then you are not a princess. If you were not born with a dizzingly high IQ, body that can shapeshift from bodybuilder to sprinter to human snake then you can NOT be everything you ever want to be and more. You are not special, and by that virtue you are very much like the other 6.9 billion of us. Welcome to the commons!

1 comment:

  1. the kinda guys you talk about will never even read this! They don't know how to read